Wednesday, October 27, 2010

My Life is an Oprah Episode - Social Masks

To live your life authentically, one needs to remove the social masks.  A social mask is a persona that we put on when we interact with other people on a daily basis.  This could be at school, workplace, or social gatherings .Exactly when I first put on my mask is unclear; I hardly know a time when I did not wear one.  I don't feel that I've been deceiving  people on purpose; I made a conscious choice not to reveal who I was - a decision that has always been based on fear.  Fear of not being well-liked, fear of not being pretty enough, smart enough, athletic enough, and so many other things that have kept me "stuck".   Psychologists will say it was due to low self-esteem, most likely, and there is a lot of truth to that. The roots to that can be traced to early childhood, I am sure, and every thing else, all the events in later years, contributed to that assumption.  Even as I write those words, it seems so self-absorbed, so trite.  I don't like excuses, but, I've come to a point in my life where I can accept explanations.

Now comes a conscious choice to remove the mask, or at least, peek out from behind it.  Some people I have known have told me that when they first met me they felt I was hard to get to know.  While I always found that remark to be strange, upon reflection, I know that what they initially saw was one of my social masks, and when I felt comfortable with them, revealed more of who I was....revealed what I wanted them to see.  I'm really not a complicated person; I'm easy.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Life changes

Okay, as for the comment about Dr. Phil, I believe what he actually said was there are actually ten (10) defining moments, seven (7) Critical Choices, and five (5) Pivotal people that shape our lives.  I tend to agree with that, except I probably have more that five Pivotal people in my life.  But, we'll go with that.

Getting Started

I don't know if I even like blogs....I do find them interesting, but, at first thought them to be a narcissistic approach to sharing one life and opinions.  But, as I felt the urge to write down so many things I've been thinking about over the years, blogging seems to be an avenue worth taking.

There have been many events in my life that have had lasting effects; I am not alone in that.  I believe it was Dr. Phil who said that there are about ten (10) major events that change a person's life.  (at least I think it was Dr. Phil--but, I could be wrong).  Major events can change a person's life, or at the very least, have a daily impact on how we go about our day.  When I think of a change in a person's life, it's more than just an address change, or a job change, or a relationship change, I think of it as being shaken to our core that we look at the world through a different lens.  How we see the world is how, I believe, we change.

Life's events include some obvious ones:  birth of a child, marriage/divorce, death of a loved one (family or friend), social injustice, traumatic experiences : rape, abuse, relationships that work, and some that do not, falling in and out of love, and the struggle to be happy.

Because this is my blog, and I equate my life to an episode of Oprah, I will share a little something of all of what I just mentioned above.  Some of you who choose to read this blog will not be surprised at my candor.
I do know that even my closest friends and family will be shocked at some of the content, and some may feel uncomfortable reading very personal accounts of some of the "events" in my life.

Let me just say that about three months ago, I woke up from, what I consider, a coma. I've been in one for the past twelve years or so....maybe on some level many more years than that.  As for what the trigger was that "awakened" me -- that I am not sure.  I just know it happened, and it has gotten me in touch with some of the demons (hey, we all have them) deep inside, and allowed me to have conversation with them, where they are not a threat to my being.

As the days move ahead, and as I feel like writing, I will tackle the many "episodes" or events that have shaped my life up to this point.